Melancholy Month

Salam dearies,

I see myself as a positive person most of the time, choosing to harbour happy thoughts and be carefree but halfway through this April, many unfortunate events have occurred which had me feeling crestfallen. I experienced a terrible breakdown last night and woke up with extreme puffy eyes today. That called for heavy eye make-up lol! (But it was still visible la) Here is a series of events that made me caved in to my innermost emotions.

Firstly, a big fight with my sister (over some reasons) caused us to not be on speaking terms. The person whom I tell my everything to is no longer there to share jokes, laughter and sadness with. I don't know why neither of us have the guts to seek apology from the other. Is it our egos holding us back? What is so hard about apologizing? Nevertheless, I hope we will reconcile soon...Not talking to her everyday is slowly getting to me :(

Secondly, I lost my ezlink card, in school I think. I hate losing things, especially those that are of great importance to me. I depend on that thing all the time! Plus, I am on concession fares so imagine the value I lost in total. I have made a report to NUS's lost and found but I have yet to hear any news. No news anytime soon calls for a new card = more $$!!!

Last of all, I failed my TP. It was my first try. THIS IS THE NEWS THAT MADE ME TEAR THE HARDEST. The scenario of that costly mistake that caused me to immediately fail keeps repeating in my head and how I wish so hard I could have avoided it. I have disappointed a lot of people, and especially myself. Re-booking means more $$ for extra driving lessons and the TP fees itself. Should I give it another try? I really want to start driving for goodness' sake!

Okay well, these are not the only things that made me fall bad yesternight and reflect. Again and again, I tell myself there is a silver lining behind all. It could be Allah telling me, "Laa tahzan. I have better plans for you." In Malay, they say, "Ada hikmah disebalik segala sesuatu." I hold on to that very strongly and therefore, I tell myself not to be so gravely affected. This issues are matters of the dunya that is nothing compared to the things concerning the afterlife.

And that is the secret of this world. If you remove love of dunya from your heart, the dunya is yours for the taking. You can have the dunya because it’s in your hand and not in your heart” Sh. Hamza Yusuf. 
So "O Allah, please place the matters of dunya in my hands, and not my heart. Amin."

And with that, I pray hard for brighter and pleasant days ahead, inshaAllah kheir! Also, bittaufik wannajah and all the best to my uni friends who will be sitting for the finals soon :)

Lots of love, Mai.

The busy period

I miss blogging but I have been so so busy! Rushing to complete my term papers with the deadlines drawing nearer and having Piala Mahkota Raja 2014 exactly a week away, I have so much on my plate. I just do not have the leisure time.

But I'll be back. I promise.

Love, Mai.

Snap it away...

It's Monday again. Hello everybody!

I promised to share some clearer pictures of Rochy's 21st so here it is. I love how colourful the background was. Anyway, have a blessed week ahead okie. It's gonna be a long weekend due to Chinese New Year festivities so that is something to look forward to. For me, it'll be a 3 day school week. To my Chinese friends, Gong Xi Fa Cai in advance! Hong bao leh? Lol. Just eat, eat, eat all you want but do take care :) and to the rest, what are your plans for the weekend?

Toodles!

Attitude versus academic

Hi all!

How is school you asked? I must be honest; I've not done much and it's slack so far because of the absence of tutorial sessions. It's not even as tiring as I thought it would be because all I did was come to school for a lecture or two and then have lunch, tea break whatsoever with Yan Ling. Tutorials will start next week onward, though...and I cannot wait hurhur.

So here's the thing. I've been getting comments from people telling me how prestigious it is to be studying in a university, especially NUS and that having good education will equate to having a comfortable life in Singapore. I have to agree with that, but not entirely. Yes, a degree holder will most likely, if not guaranteed, secure a well-paying job and that means a stable income for the next few years. However, there are some cases where fresh graduates are still jobless despite submitting countless of applications and this shows that the competition to occupy job that needs skills and knowledge is high. Even for those who are employed will find working life arduous and exhausting. Not all of them are coping well and some may even resigned because they cannot stand the increasing pressure. The point I need to bring across is that a person with academic success and paper qualifications does not mean he is better than others (of lower qualifications such as diploma, ITE etc.) He may be academically inclined and people-oriented but a person's character is not reflected on paper. In life, things go beyond papers and certificates. Attitude matters as well and it certainly goes a looooong way. One cannot go far if he is smart but bears a bad behaviour or is ill-mannered.

Here's a situation. A friend of mine told me that he feels 'inferior' when he compares himself with me because I'm on my way to completing uni education whereas he is still inching his way out of National Service with a diploma. I feel a little sad that he feels this way. In no manner should he be harbouring such thoughts.Yes, he is older (turning 23 this year) and feels that he should be achieving more than he already does at this point in time. But in Singapore, NS is inevitable for sane, fit men. Circumstances here require them to be called up and serve the country. What he should do, instead, is to aim and inspire to work hand and catch up on the lost times. Maybe it's the ego that all men have. They will 'lose face' if a woman is better than them, physically, academically, mentally, when by right, every man should be doing better than their counterpart to fill up the masculine, protective role. I guess, I will not fully understand how a man truly feels, but as a friend, I want him to know that education is not everything. It goes far beyond status but character and attitude mattters more :) And as a Muslim woman, religious qualities in a man is what makes him more confident and attractive. So be confident! Trust me, it'll pay off.

In an another situation, I was misunderstood by a male friend. He asked if we can be more than friends and I gave reasons why it was not possible. Do note that I have known for about four years now and he has liked me for a while but I still do not reciprocate his feelings. I care for him as a friend, but nothing more. Not that this matter affected our friendship or anything. He was from an ITE but has tremendous singing capabilities. His passion for performing has seen him being invited to sing at many places and gigs, locally and in Malaysia. So yeah, basically his niche lies outside the mainstream academic areas. I was a little self-centered when I gave my answer and had no intention of belittling or looking down on him in any manner. I mentioned to him that as a woman, I want a partner that can fulfill his responsibilities as a husband, imam and a father, which means he needs to be able to support me emotionally and FINANCIALLY and bring nafkah home for the family. Yes, I purposely highlighted that word because as materialistic as it sounds, I want to be able to live comfortably. Who doesn't? What more in cities like Singapore where the standard of living is one of the highest in the world. Besides, I'm sure every man and woman has several 'criteria' and standards set aside for their ideal soulmate. And then, being in the local music industry does not guarantee a stable income because the truth is, it is difficult to make it big here. Okay fine, sing at a couple of shows and you are paid hundred of bucks but how long can you sustain? 

It got to a point where his dad found out about what I said and was again, misunderstood as well. He said, "okay you can be friends with Maisarah but no more than that". He was disappointed that I 'look down' on his son (I guess every father would be) where in my defense, it did not even cross my mind for a second to hurt his feelings. I was being honest. I want a religious man to guide me. I want stability in every aspect. I want the best of both worlds. If a man cannot provide me that, then I will think hard. But I'm glad he took my harsh words in his stride and is on his way to getting a private diploma and inshaAllah, a degree. He is doing this for his own good and not for me or anyone else.

I think I've let out enough. It is not everything but I can finally breathe easier now. Lol. Till then!

Love, Mai.

Rochelle turns 21!

Salam everyone!

This will be a quick post because I'm actually in the midst of completing my readings for week 1. I decided to take a break by blogging and so here was what happened last Saturday, January 18th. Rochelle, my junior college classmate, held her 21st birthday celebration at Marina Bay Sands suite. The night outlook of the city from the 34th storey is exquisitely breathtaking! MashaAllah. You have to admit that the Singapore city at night is a beauty with all those dazzling lights coming from Gardens by the Bay, the Helix Bridge, etc. 

The theme for the party was The Hunger Games; Catching Fire so every guest had to come dressed as a character from the movie. It turned out to be tough selecting an outfit which is in sync with the theme. In the end, I came dressed in a parka, some old-looking jeans and boots attempting to pull off as a tribute??? HAHA I DON'T KNOW, GUYS. The celebration also became a mini reunion for the class clique although not everyone was present. Personally, I had a good time with them despite not having the girl on fire aka the birthday girl entertain us much but that's alright. She looked stunning by the way :) So here are some photos (of average quality because it's from a phone) to sum up my Saturday night. Once Roch uploads the better quality ones, I'll share them here too. 

PRESENTING THE TRIBUTES FROM DISTRICT 12!!

AN ALMOST COMPLETE PICTURE OF THE CLIQUE! 

CAN YOU TELL THAT BASYSYIR IS PRESIDENT SNOW??!!

THE PHOTO THAT DID NOT DO JUSTICE TO THE VIEW I SAW!

Warmest hugs, Mai!

School's in!

Assalamualaikum dearies!

School is finally commencing tomorrow. Year two, semester two. New modules, new friends. Yippeee! As far as many cringe at the thought of it, I'm actually pretty excited after spending the semester break (5 weeks or so!) doing non-academic activities such as catching up with friends and family members. I'm raring to go, prepared to face the stack of readings waiting for me. However, there is one thing I don't look forward to; THE JOURNEY TO SCHOOL. Because NUS is in the West, it takes me more than an hour to reach my destination which I really, really dread. It drains the energy out of me when I think of the travelling time taken to and fro.

So anyways, that aside, I'm gonna begin the new semester a whole new person, more open-minded as before. May I grow and develop stronger mentally and spiritually, inshaAllah. Leaving you with a snapshot or two of my final activity before school begins. Amirah's 21st! Till thennnnnn.

MY FRIENDS FROM FASS!

WITH MY BABE, FATIN!

P.S.: Just little prayer for those who are still seeking ilm/knowledge. O Allah! Advance me in Knowledge and True Understanding. Ameen.

Much love, Mai.

Hello 2014

Salaam all.

How's the new year so far? Any new year resolutions? So I spent my last day of 2013 with two beautiful friends, Aisyah and Nadiah, who are so dear to me in JB. The three days with them was nothing short of awesome. Pig out A LOT after abstaining from good food here because the prices are dirt cheap. From Japanese cuisine to seafood to Indian to wahh hahaha my tummy fats just kept bulging out from my jeans! Anyway, bismillah to this new year, which includes the month of Rabiul Awal of the Islamic calendar. May Allah keep our hearts firm in this Deen and purify our intentions, in shaa Allah :) 

Love, Mai.