How is school you asked? I must be honest; I've not done much and it's slack so far because of the absence of tutorial sessions. It's not even as tiring as I thought it would be because all I did was come to school for a lecture or two and then have lunch, tea break whatsoever with Yan Ling. Tutorials will start next week onward, though...and I cannot wait hurhur.
So here's the thing. I've been getting comments from people telling me how prestigious it is to be studying in a university, especially NUS and that having good education will equate to having a comfortable life in Singapore. I have to agree with that, but not entirely. Yes, a degree holder will most likely, if not guaranteed, secure a well-paying job and that means a stable income for the next few years. However, there are some cases where fresh graduates are still jobless despite submitting countless of applications and this shows that the competition to occupy job that needs skills and knowledge is high. Even for those who are employed will find working life arduous and exhausting. Not all of them are coping well and some may even resigned because they cannot stand the increasing pressure. The point I need to bring across is that a person with academic success and paper qualifications does not mean he is better than others (of lower qualifications such as diploma, ITE etc.) He may be academically inclined and people-oriented but a person's character is not reflected on paper. In life, things go beyond papers and certificates. Attitude matters as well and it certainly goes a looooong way. One cannot go far if he is smart but bears a bad behaviour or is ill-mannered.
Here's a situation. A friend of mine told me that he feels 'inferior' when he compares himself with me because I'm on my way to completing uni education whereas he is still inching his way out of National Service with a diploma. I feel a little sad that he feels this way. In no manner should he be harbouring such thoughts.Yes, he is older (turning 23 this year) and feels that he should be achieving more than he already does at this point in time. But in Singapore, NS is inevitable for sane, fit men. Circumstances here require them to be called up and serve the country. What he should do, instead, is to aim and inspire to work hand and catch up on the lost times. Maybe it's the ego that all men have. They will 'lose face' if a woman is better than them, physically, academically, mentally, when by right, every man should be doing better than their counterpart to fill up the masculine, protective role. I guess, I will not fully understand how a man truly feels, but as a friend, I want him to know that education is not everything. It goes far beyond status but character and attitude mattters more :) And as a Muslim woman, religious qualities in a man is what makes him more confident and attractive. So be confident! Trust me, it'll pay off.
In an another situation, I was misunderstood by a male friend. He asked if we can be more than friends and I gave reasons why it was not possible. Do note that I have known for about four years now and he has liked me for a while but I still do not reciprocate his feelings. I care for him as a friend, but nothing more. Not that this matter affected our friendship or anything. He was from an ITE but has tremendous singing capabilities. His passion for performing has seen him being invited to sing at many places and gigs, locally and in Malaysia. So yeah, basically his niche lies outside the mainstream academic areas. I was a little self-centered when I gave my answer and had no intention of belittling or looking down on him in any manner. I mentioned to him that as a woman, I want a partner that can fulfill his responsibilities as a husband, imam and a father, which means he needs to be able to support me emotionally and FINANCIALLY and bring nafkah home for the family. Yes, I purposely highlighted that word because as materialistic as it sounds, I want to be able to live comfortably. Who doesn't? What more in cities like Singapore where the standard of living is one of the highest in the world. Besides, I'm sure every man and woman has several 'criteria' and standards set aside for their ideal soulmate. And then, being in the local music industry does not guarantee a stable income because the truth is, it is difficult to make it big here. Okay fine, sing at a couple of shows and you are paid hundred of bucks but how long can you sustain?
It got to a point where his dad found out about what I said and was again, misunderstood as well. He said, "okay you can be friends with Maisarah but no more than that". He was disappointed that I 'look down' on his son (I guess every father would be) where in my defense, it did not even cross my mind for a second to hurt his feelings. I was being honest. I want a religious man to guide me. I want stability in every aspect. I want the best of both worlds. If a man cannot provide me that, then I will think hard. But I'm glad he took my harsh words in his stride and is on his way to getting a private diploma and inshaAllah, a degree. He is doing this for his own good and not for me or anyone else.
I think I've let out enough. It is not everything but I can finally breathe easier now. Lol. Till then!
Love, Mai.
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